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Exposing lies, pretensions and stupidity in the world of food.


  1. Clean Eating is Dead

    Clean Eating is Dead

    Clean Eating is dead. Yay! Did we kill it? No, not at all. Although we did try. Someone should tell ‘Clean Eating Alice’. That way she can change her name before she brings out another book. Maybe too late for that. Although I am not convinced that ‘Clean’ is her real name. How do we know it is dead? Because the Internet said so. In a recent article on her website, the High Priestess of all things clean, a certain Ella Mills (nee Woodward) announced Clean Eating’s sad demise. Like the
  2. WTF is wrong with potatoes?

    WTF is wrong with potatoes?

    For anyone who missed the news, I am trying to write a book at the moment. What? Us writing a book? How did that happen? To be honest I am not really sure, but it involved a few fairly surreal meetings in London where I had to pretend I wasn’t completely out of my depth. At one point I was told I was zeitgeisty and had to go home and look it up. Once you had worked out how to spell it. Yes, that is true. In fact, I had to Google it because I couldn’t even get close enough for spell check
  3. Just tell me what's wrong with carrots.

    Just tell me what's wrong with carrots.

    Bosh!! What? Get out of town!! In the mix!! Naughty!! Prep like a boss!!! Cowabunga Dude!! Are you OK? I’m trying to be lively and fun. I want us to be popular like Joe Wicks. He has over a hundred billion followers on Instagram. Well stop it, it’s weird. Can we give things fun names then? Maybe if we quote a reference it could be a Roger Reference. No. We will not do that because we are not 7 years old. How about instead of spending all this time writing ten-thousand-word blog